Today is a blog from a personal perspective.
Today, life is beating my meds. I felt overwhelmed immediately this morning, so I included a Xanax in my morning medicine routine (Lexapro & Zyrtec). I sat around for most of the afternoon, watching Netflix. I got up and got ready to go to work, everything was fine. I showered, did my hair, and moisturized my face. My husband dropped me off at work and I settled in for the evening. About my third client into the day, I cut my finger. It didn't feel bad, but it was bleeding quite a bit. I threw a bandage on it and finished my client. I went to change the bandage after the client checked out, but all of a sudden I felt extremely emotional and overwhelmed. I had the biggest urge to start crying. "I'm sick of cutting myself all the time!" I exclaimed to a coworker... it's part of the job, I know, but it still sucks. I took another Xanax (I'm allowed three per day), and tried to calm down... but I can't get the feeling to go away. That particular client and the following one did not leave me any gratuity and that really gets to me too. Am I not performing at top capacity because of how I feel? Am I shutting down too much? It's times like these I have to try and turn off my mind and find something else to do. I'll probably do some online window shopping, not that it will make me feel a whole lot better. I guess I could take care of some business emails, but that always ramps up my anxiety, too.
This is a blog-in-the-moment. I didn't sit down and think about a topic and outline what I was going to cover... I'm flying by the seat of my overly-anxious pants, here.
Stay strong, breathe, and reach out to someone if you need to. I'm going to try like hell to take my own advice today.
Until next time...